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Jack Miller to be Replaced By Monkey at KTM in 2024?

 Could KTM give Jack Miller’s factory MotoGP seat to a monkey next year? We interviewed a senior KTM source, who
The post Jack Miller to be Replaced By Monkey at KTM in 2024? appeared first on MotoGPNews.  

Could KTM give Jack Miller’s factory MotoGP seat to a monkey next year? We interviewed a senior KTM source, who asked to remain anonymous as he didn’t want the guy who services his wheelchair to find out that he talked to us.

Is it true that you will be replacing Jack Miller with a monkey in your factory KTM team next year?

No, no, no! Well, to be honest, it’s kind of a half-truth. Like saying Luca Marini belongs in MotoGP.

What’s the story behind this?

At one point during Friday practise in India, I was on Jack Miller’s side of the factory KTM garage when a monkey appeared. We said “hello” and the monkey immediately started screeching and throwing his own faeces at us. This showed me that he has right the kind of moxie to succeed in MotoGP. Plus he reminded me of the average police officer back in Austria.

What made you hire the monkey?

Initially we were thinking of bringing him on board as a test rider. Then we remembered how good Dani Pedrosa was when he wildcarded. Since he’s approximately monkey-sized, logically the monkey should do just as well. So we hired him on a 2-year factory KTM contract.

You already have 5 riders to fill 4 seats! Why the hell did you sign a 6th???

The monkey is so cute! And so much better groomed than Pecco!

Will Jack Miller stay with KTM?

Yes! We love Jack. He is super quick in the first few laps of nearly every race. Of course, our main priorities are Brad Binder and that Moto2 kid as they’re obviously massively more talented than half of the Yamaha riders and three quarters of the Ducati riders. But we are committed to having all 6 of our KTM signings riding full-time on our 4 bikes next year.

Okaaaayyyy… So, did any monkeys appear on Brad Binder’s side of the garage?

I thought I saw one go over there, then I heard a loud bang and Brad telling his “Uccio” to fire up the barbecue and bring his skinning knife. I went over and asked Brad if a monkey had come past him but he just laughed and said, “Not bloody likely, man!”

Will you have to build a wall down the garage between your new monkey rider and Brad Binder?

Of course not! Brad is such a nice guy. Like the time we were in Barcelona on the Thursday before the race and an endangered white rhino escaped from the local zoo. Brad selflessly offered to use the skills he learned in his South African childhood to help track it down. He threw a huge barbecue that night and invited the entire paddock. There was enough meat for everybody!

One last question. What is the monkey called?

Luckily our local Indian fixer knew the answer to that. It seems that the Monkey must have some Irish ancestry as his name is Rhys S. MacAck.

Thanks for your time.

No problem. I’d rather talk to MGPN than David Emmett. He just asks us about frigging brake disks all the time.

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Monkey replacements

Who should KTM replace with a monkey in 2024?

 

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